bitch session #1

A town that has a population of roughly 3,500 people, four bars, one place to go to A.A. meetings, and like ten churches. That's the town I live in. Osage, Ia. I've lived here for six years, and know a small handful of the people. You see, I live outside of town, three miles or so, out on an abandoned farm that's only used for the the house, garage, and land. The house itself is a P.O.S. the roof leaks, the windows are all drafty, seriously, I've got one window in my front room that without gorilla tape, would probably just fall out on the ground, the plumming is about twenty years outdated, the electrical wiring, killed a bird that was sitting outside on top of my tin roof garage, needless to say, electricity don't run out there anymore. I've got aluminum siding on the house, and the paint has worn off so much that the house looks like a coors light can when the sun is just right and I rent. My toilet is about to cave into the basement, I have to work the shower with pliers, the water is the color of milk, my son's favorite window is covered in lead based paint, I've got holes in the wall, stained beyond repair carpet, which was like that when we moved in six years ago, I live in a shit hole, for very little rent, but it reminds me of the house from charlie and the choclate factory. Your probably thinking if you rent, just move, which in theory sounds pretty easy, but six years of collecting junk, and stuff "I can use later" like engine parts for the car, and I've got more garbage than I know what I want to do with. Earlier last summer I decided to figure a rough cost of moving, and the result was staggering, cost to rent a dumpster, 450 dollars, the cost to rent a huge uhaul truck, like two hundred dollars, first month's rent, last month's rent, finding a house that allows my dogs, a place with a garage, I need a garage for my quads. But most importantly I need to move to where jobs are available. anyway, we figured up somewhere in the two thousand dollar range. I recently lost my job a couple months ago, so money is real tight, so two thousand dollars may as well be a million. My wife works in a town that's about a thirty five minute drive one way, and our car gets roughly 18mpg, which we can't trade in, or sell, because we still owe on it, five months after we got it, the engine blew up, and since were in poverty, I had to buy a used engine from a junk yard, and change it myself, I'm no mechanic, so it's fair to say it's a miracle that the car is even running. I know if your still reading this you are probably seeing me as this toothless redneck, but that's not the case, I'm just a guy with bad luck. I really try not to feel sorry for myself, but I still tend to get stuck on the pitty pot now and then. If only I could get some help, you know, maybe I wouldn't feel like I was totally on my own, the Iowadepartment of human services is a joke, if I was a minority, I'm sure they would help me as much as possible, throw me the golden welfare keys, or some shit like that, but since I'm a white male, I'm looked at like I'm a loser when I go to get help, and get denied because, get this, I make, on paper, 50 dollars a month more than the required monthly income to be eligable. a family of four can't make more that 2200 dollars a month GROSS income is 2250 a month. NET income on the other hand is somewhere like 1500 a month, GOD it's a vicious cycle, and we are just falling through the cracks.

.